Tally Harwood
Author of THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO LEARNING LATIN
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Swanboats Forever
January 13, 2026 Swanboats Forever In search of some relief from this insanity of the current adminsistration, I think back to one of the most serene ten minutes available in this world — a ride on the swan boats. My mother would take me (after a lunch at Lord and Taylor’s) to the Boston Gardens
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Euphemistically Speaking
Euphemistically Speaking January 6, 2025 Thr word “gown” is often used to add social class or prestige to a basically simple low class, sometimes undesirable object like a dress. “ Night dress” becomes “night gown”, “wedding dress” becomes an excitng event while a “ball dress “ lacks a certain romantic flair until you float acrosss
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Resolved
December 30, 2025 Not. No New Year Resolutions. What a waste of time and energy. The first resolutions were painstakingly etched into stone 3000 years ago by some well-meaning Sumerian and probably came to nothing. The first; repay your debts. Second; return what you borrowed. Gracious. Sounds easy enough. Fast forward to today, and not
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We’ll All Get Fat Together
December 23, 2025 “Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man’s hat’ If not a penny, then a ha’penny will do. If not a ha’penny, then God bless you!” Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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My Deer Family
December 16, 2025 My Deer Family The doe and her fawns showed up yesterday, seemingly oblivious to the four inches of snow and 2 degree temperature. They snuffled into the drifts, searching for green leaves and other food Then apparently satisfied, they made little nests in the snow, curled up their legs and took a
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Gone But Not Forgotten
December 9, 2025 The government has stopped minting the lowly penny. No longer will anyone say “A penny for your thoughts.” Years ago I was in a British hospital and a nurse approached and asked “Want to spend a penny? I thought she was selling lottery tickets but as everyone but me knows it was
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Beg Pardon?
December 2, 2025 The Sunday Times reports that The Orange Monster in the White House has pardoned the ex-president of Honduras who was convicted in a U.S. federal court of allowing “a vast amount” of cocaine to be brought into this country. Since taking office he has issued 1600 pardons including all the thugs who
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Pause
November 25, 25 Pause Wait! Wait! Isn’t there something between Halloween and Christmas? Like Thanksgiving? Suddenly the Christmas trees are for sale. Christmas movies have appeared on television.. Gift suggestions fill my mailbox and commercials feature Santa hats, elves and holiday music. Stop! I want at least a day to say thanks. Thanks for relatively
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College Education?
November 18, 2025 You Send Your Son to College for an Education Fwup, fwup, fwup . . . Thwack! I’m on my couch, reading, when suddenly jolted by my student rental neighbor’s noise. Fwup, fwup, fwup, thwack followed by guys all counting together, “One . . . two . . . three. . . then
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A Triumph?
November 11, 2025 A Triumph? The Orange Evil in the White House (even after tearing down the East Wing, paving over Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden, using the DOJ to punish political enemies and pardoning convicted criminals} is now threatening to name a professional football team after himself (The Trumpets?) to bring wrestlers to the White
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Peaceable Kingdom
November 4, 2025 A Peaceable Kingdom on the Street in Ohio As I sit in my living room I look out the window and watch twenty year olds come in and out of their student rentals, car owners go up and down the street looking for free parking spaces. So I am not surprised to
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Sui Generis
October 28, 2025 Oops. Break week. More important things to do like watch the World Series, Friday night football, the Bengals, Rachel Maddow and Heather Cox Richardson. Also taking up (after a year of devastating loss and horrible surgery) my coloring book. I find it soothing to choose from 300 different colored pencils and stay
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Mishandled
October 21, 2025 Mishandled It all started 25 years ago when car manufacturers introduced push buttons. Open the window? Push down. Lock the door? Click. My granddaughter got into my older model car, took one look at the window handle and asked, “What’s that?” Fast forward to last week when my daughter and I pull
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Oh My Deer!
October 14, 2025 Oh My Deer! The City Coumcil wants to hire a professional group to decrease the city’s deer population because deer cause accidents and eat flowers. May I remind you that the city could save a lot of money and stop buying signs that say “stop”, “slow down”, “road obstruction ahead” or “watch
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Ignorance is Bliss
October 7, 2025 Ignorance is bliss. I recently posted a picture on our family thread taken in 1904. Four ladiies in long skirts, white shirtwaists and swept up hair along with three younger brothers, hair neatly combed and polished shoes. No cell phones, probably no phone at all, no car (went to town in horse
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A Myth
September 23, 2025 A Myth The ancient Greek myth tells of Demeter, goddess of the harvest, and her beautiful daughter, Persephone, who is kidnapped by Hades, god of the underworld. Demeter is understandably angry and threatens to stop all earthly growth. Zeus intervenes with a compromise that allows Persephone to spend half the year with
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Deep Breath
September 16, 2025 Deep Breath I’m sorry that Charlie Kirk was assassinated. He did say some terribly wrong things, but he didn’t deserve to die for that. I think we all need to just shut up and move on. I have never read of anyone being assassinated by a bow and arrow. It’s guns, folks,
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A History Lesson
September 9, 2025 A History Lesson I’m reading an exhaustive (and exhausting) biography of the third president of the United States, Thomas Jefferson. Whatta guy! He had an impressive education, graduating from William and Mary College in 1762 and then spending five years reading the most detailed law books resulting in passing the Virginia bar
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That’s With a “B”
September 2, 2025 That’s With a “B” I recently discovered that my most favorite quiz show, “Who Wants to be a Millionnaire?” (I do! I do!) returned this summer and all the episodes are available On Demand. So I’ve been binge watching. I love the questions that range from $100 (What movie ends with the
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Let Freedom Ring
Let Freedom Ring A popular song from 1776; Come join hand in hand, brave Americans all and rouse your brave hearts at fair Liberty’s call; No tyrannous acts shall suppress your just claim or stain with dishonor America’s name. In freedom we’re born and in freedom we’ll live; Our purses are ready. Steady, Friends steady.
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A Hat Chat
August 19, 2025 A Hat Chat A covering for the head; cap, chapeau, bonnet, lid, topper, stove pipe, bowler, derby, ten gallon, sun, pith, helmet, straw, Panama, bearskin, beaver, tam, skull, turban, overseas, ear muff, fedora, wimple just to name a few. And they come in leather, linen, cotton, mesh, plastic or wool. Hats sprout
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A Fairy Tale
August 12, 2025 A Fairy Tale Listen my children, and you shall hear, the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Bearly competent Bearly coherent Bearly conscious who came into the house and broke the furniture, ate their supper and then fell asleep. When the bears came home they were furious at the destruction. They
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Lesson Learned
August 5, 2025 Lesson Learned After eighty-eight years, I have finally learned my lessons. 1. Get up. 2. Make your bed. 3. Eat your vegetables. 4. Obey your mother. 5. Do a good job. 6. Pay your bills. 7. Read. 8. Learn. 9. Repeat yourself. 10. Get up.
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Growing Old Again
July 29, 2025 Getting Old Again There’s no practicing getting old. It just creeps up on you, a little ache here, a crackling joint there, people talking faster, driving erratically, little by little it hounds you to death (sick joke,ha ha). It seems like all of a sudden you’re on a cane. Then a walker.
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Play Ball!
July 22, 2025 Play Ball! I’ve been watching major league baseball lately. Thanks to modern technology I can tape a game, then fast forward through all the commercials and even the opposing team’s “at bats” and watch a whole game from my recliner in less than an hour. Yesterday the Reds played the Rockies, and
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July 15, 2025
It Goes On and On . . . I like to read works from the classical period because the authors so often reflect timeless topics; Cicero complains about his annoying wife, Martial laments the noise from the street, Caesar on the strange ways of foreigners or Plautus deriding the pompous generals. I mention this because
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Graduate. Do it correctly.
July 8, 2025 In spite of current frequent usage, you don’t “graduate university.” “To graduate” is NOT a transitive verb . For you non grammarians, a transitive verb is one that takes a direct object, one that affects someone one or something directly. The exception is when the university does the graduating, as in “Harvard
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“And That’s The Way It Was”
June 24, 2025 “And That’s The Way It Was” Heat wave. What would I do without the AC? Reminds me of our first days in town when air conditioning was for rich people only, and we, on an instructor’s salary with five kids, sat sweltering in excesssive heat and humidity.. I would sit immobilized in
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Forward, March
June 17, 2025 Forward, March! I love a parade! Favorite song, “Me name is MacNamara, I’m the leader of the band . . . It’s Hennessy Pennesy Tootin the Flute, and the music is somethin’ grand”. So how disappointed was I to watch “the greatest parade ever” as it fizzled across the evening news with
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June 10, 2025
Hirsute I’ve been watchimg the Reds. Good grief! All that hair! Long, flowing locks, myriad braids flapping in the wind, beards, mustaches, curly, straight, man buns, neck rolls, STOP! I can’t see anybody’s face through the opaque sunglasses, thick, armor like face guards, black paint on cheeks and drooping hair. So what a relief to
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June 3, 2025
No Place Like Home I live in a town whose population of 27,000 drops to 10,000 in one weekend in May. . . . where it’s common to look up and see a pair of sneakers swinging from a telephone wire . . . where a doe and her fawns wander through town at will,
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You’re Hired
May 27, 2025 You’re Hired! Interviewer; You’re here for the position of Secretary of Defense? Interviewee; Yes. Interviewer; And what are your qualifications?” Interviewee; I’m young, beautiful, have long blonde hair and look like Trump’s daughter, Ivanka. Interviewer; You’ll fit right in. Interviewee; That’s Gucci. Interviewer; Transportation Secretary? Interviewee; Yup. Interviewer; It says here you
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Cloudy
May 20, 2025 Cloudy As someone who learned to type on a manual typewriter and was accustomed to make phone calls by talking to an operator,( a real person), I am often astounded at my, albeit imperfect , mastery of modern day communications. I can use a word processor, can get on the internet, can
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Life Imitates Art
May 13, 2025 Life Imitates Art Back in 1993, a movie came out called “Dave.” It told the story of an American president, struck down with a debilitating stroke, being replaced with a double by a conniving chief of staff, who planned to replace the Vice President and install lhimself as the chief executive. Fast
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Another Bubble Burst
May 5, 2025 Robert Frost; that kindly old gentleman farmer from New Hampshire (and who else do I know who comes from New Hampshire except Aunt Dot, Uncle Nat and Calvin Coolidge?) is the subject of a new biography that reveals a more complex picture; a Harvard drop out well versed in philosophy, classical literature
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Another Bubble Burst
May 6, 2025 Robert Frost; that kindly old gentleman farmer from New Hampshire (and who else do I know who comes from New Hampshire except Aunt Dot, Uncle Nat and Calvin Coolidge?) is the subject of a new biography that reveals a more complex picture; a Harvard drop out well versed in philosophy, classical literature
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Worlds Not Colliding
April 29, 2025 I am retired. In the morning I take my coffee, settle into my recliner and watch life go on. From my sliding glass door I watch three worlds. The first, about one foot away from me, centers on the bird bath, frequented by squirrels, cardinals, starlings, many others, especially in the spring
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The Un-birthday
April 22, 2025 The Un-birthday Some time ago Seven Up liked to refer to itself as the “Un-cola” to distinguish itself from its more popular rival, Coca Cola. Thinking about my recent birthday, I call it the “Un-birthday”, to describe it as most unremarkable, similar to the 15th . Remember the one that failed to
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Tis the season
April 15, 2025 Spring! It happens every year along with my birthday (not another year!), the return of the finches, the blooming forsythia, the winter coat to the back of the closet, the bright yellow, purple, lavender, red and blue at the local nursery, and not in the least, the miracle of daffodils springing up
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I’ve Got Wheels!
April 8, 2025 Thanks to my long legs and skinny frame, I could out run everybody, boy and girl, in fifth grade. And then I grew up, got my license and was off! Now, for the first time since I was sixteen years old I am without a car. Over all those years I always
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April 1, 2025
Life Requirements It has always been my contention that high schools should require on graduation that everyone should know 1. how to swim 2. basic electronics 3. basic plumbing 4. how to balance a checkbook and now, basic facts about drugs I add this because I lately was prescribed a steroid, a drug that I
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BREAK IT UP!
March 25, 2025 Break it up! I don’t know if it’s the warmer weather, or the fact that the whole town is deserted with 90% of the inhabitants lolling on the beach in Florida or that my blood count is so low I can’t get out of my chair, but nevertheless I feel the need
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Stop It!
March 17, 2025 Stop It! This is profound. You don’t really need that top sheet. Holy Smoke. All these years wrestling with the hospital bed square corners for nothing! People probably don’t say “Top of the mornin’ to ye!” either, unless you’re in Ireland and speaking to American tourists. So bite off the top of
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Tomfoolery
March 11, 2025 Don’t let them fool you . .. . it’s NOT your last chance, you were NOT randomly chosen, NOT because you liked your last purchase . . . the democratic party WILL go on without your donation, it’s NOT a Nigerian prince who wants to be your friend along with your SSN.
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A Lost Art?
I’m reading an Agatha Christie novel, for the first time in fifty years. Back in my college days I read every one of her thirty or so mysteries and loved them all. So here I am, years later, and I fortunately cannot remember any of them, so it’s a whole new and wonderful experience. And
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THIS IS WAR!
FEBRUARY 24, 2025 I have never liked the word blog It looks like “ugly”. It as two of the same letters and even has the same length — enough to qualify for a distant relative. It sounds like only negative words; smog, fog, blech and hog. It probably comes from “blow”, as in “blows no
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Whole New Life
February 18, 2025 My Dad would be turning over in his grave (just an expression, people). He brought home a new fangled invention to show his family – a voice recorder. Yup, you speak into this box, and your voice will be recorded on this wire that runs from spool to spool. Wow! Our jaws
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o tempora o mores
O Tempora, O Mores Two thousand years ago, Cicero lamented the “times, the ways” of contemporary society, how decadent, how immoral they had all become. The Republic in ruins, Julius Caesar assassinated, Augustus taking over command of the government and the Senate in disarray. And now here we are, bemoaning, whining, pointing fingers at the
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o temp
O Tempora, O Mores Two thousand years ago, Cicero lamented the “times, the ways” of contemporary society, how decadent, how immoral they had all become. The Republic in ruins, Julius Caesar assassinated, Augustus taking over command of the government and the Senate in disarray. And now here we are, bemoaning, whining, pointing fingers at the
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February 8, 2025
I can’t let a week go by without commenting on the chaotic havoc the orange-monster-in-the-White House is wreaking on the American public, whether it be Democratic, Republican or Independent. Include his incompetent minions and unqualified appointees and their interference with foreign aid payments ,the mishandling of sensitive federal data as well as unchecked tariffs, not
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February 4, 2025
I read surveys and questionnaires and they often ask me to put myself in an age group; 20 -40, 50 – 60, 70-80, but almost never older. I’m mildly insulted. Don’t they care what nonagenarians think? Or is it they consider anyone over 80 in their dotage? Doddering? Dim? Unable to express a reasonable opinion?
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January 28, 2025
I’m back after months of excruciating sadness, gall bladder surgery with complications, hospital beds and a bewildering confrontation with modern medical organization. What ever happened to Dr. Burgoyne who would come to the house with his black bag? The students are back, the town is filled with cars looking for parking spaces, and I have
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We All Lost
It was not a debate. It was a loud mouthed bully shouting lies, insults and false exaggerations at an older man who struggled with physical limitations to answer. It was sad and pathetic and got us nowhere. James Carville, the Democratic strategist, had this suggestion. Let Biden withdraw from the race. Have Biden, Obama and
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Socrates, You Said It
Socrates, who lived a very, very long time ago, once said, “He who loses the debate, will resort to insults.” Oh yes. Secondly, our Natural Resource Worker reports from the nearby State Park campground that the campground hosts are the “nicest people in the world.” How refreshing to hear that such people are still around
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Heat Wave. It’s Somebody’s Fault.
I don’t believe that in my eighty plus years I have ever experienced such heat. Upper nineties and for so long! Seven days! Outdoor concerts cancelled. Heat advisories issued. Cooling centers opened at the local library. And what about those bikers who are riding across Ohio? Are they holding up? And the golf tournament. Still
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Merci Mille Fois
I have always loved to color. There’s something soothing about staying within the lines and creating something relatively beautiful from plain black and white. So imagine my delight when my artistic children gave me a top of the line set of colored pencils, 132 soft lead beauties, with fanciful names both English and French. Over
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Life is OK
The world is coming back and straightening up. The doctor says I can keep my gallstones, Trump has been convicted, I cut back a substantial bunch of weeds today and the AC is doing its job. When we first moved to Ohio in 1965, we had no air conditioning and I vividly remember sitting in
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This Crazy World
The world is at sixes and sevens (origin of idiom uncertain, one suggestion having to do with the dots on a die). I feel this because last night I saw the first June bugs, aka fireflies, and it’s not even June! Further confusion, if Trump is convicted of a felony, he would be unable to
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Rain, rain, go away
Well, fine. Raining again. Not only preventing me from carrying out Plan A which is attacking the side yard and cutting back weeds, but it’s compounding the problem by encouraging more growth of invasive plants and an unwanted profusion of green vegetation. This year has so far been a boon for farmers and gardeners but
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Urgent. Memo.
Memo to THE MOUSE; Stop coming into my kitchen at night while I’m sleeping and nosing around and leaving your little poops. You can stop chewing on chip bags and fooling around in the silverware drawer. I have put away all the food and tightly covered the peanuts, so scram! You are not an inside
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Small Town News
One week before finals, the end of the semester and graduation, and this town is hopping. Uptown park has farmer’s market and various musical performers. There’s a modest but heartfelt sit in on campus urging the university to divest its interests in Israel. Shademakers Nursery is having a day long workshop on native shrubs and
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Getting old. I like it.
Oh the joy of having professional landscapers pull the weeds, lug the gravel, wheel the barrows of mulch and voila! A front yard I can be proud of and hopefully can ignore for several weeks, maybe the whole summer! Right up there with having groceries delivered. There are some good things about old age.
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What Next?
Well, here I go. Swept away by modern technology. Not only am I addicted to my I phone, now I’m relentlessly attached to my Kindle. No more adjusting the reading lamp or sitting near a source of natural light. No more 400 page tomes perched on my stomach. Forget the bookmarks, the reading glasses, the
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Evolution; Good? Bad?
Just as homo sapiens is slowly losing its hair because we spend our time in a covered environment and don’t need the protection that a full head of hair originally provided, so we will slowly forget how to turn things off and on as technology takes over that seemingly simple task. Computers, phones, devices of
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TOTALLED
Like everyone else who experienced the eclipse, I was thrilled. It was probably a once in a lifetime event as I will be 120 when it comes to Ohio again. Making it more special, my family, now scattered over the country, enjoyed participating in a natural wonder together. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Florida, New York, North Carolina,
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Mysteries of Life
I have a handy dandy little printer attached to my phone and one day, after the electricity was out for a brief flicker, it was “disconnected.” Well, okay, so I unplugged and then plugged. Nothing. For several days I try everything; check settings, check Bluetooth (whatever that is), all “connected” but not really. I push,
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BugUgly. Bigly.
Two things I like about winter; when the leaves are gone, I can see what’s happening around the neighborhood, and all the bugs in the world are either dead or soundly sleeping. So now that spring is here, bringing all the promise of warmth, regrowth and open windows, so come the bugs. A single ant
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City Trees
There are over 600,000 trees lining the streets of New York City and the beds around them amount to 400 acres of soil. According to last Sunday’s New York Times, people will take advantage of the spring weather to satisfy the urge to do some gardening; even though the little plots of earth technically belong
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More About Trees
Some well known facts from an article in SIERRA by Ben Jealous; trees in cities reduce surface temperatures. They cleanse the air and help protect against flooding. They improve residents’ mental and physical health. There is even a correlation with public safety. Neighborhoods with more street trees have lower crime rates. And as if you
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Please! Thank You!
I found myself the other day being rude, yes, downright impolite, to Alexa. When asked if I wanted to reorder shampoo, I curtly said “No.” Not even, “No thank you.” Is this the new norm? Is it okay to omit “please” and “thank you”? I think it all started with the mobile phone messaging, when
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Tree City. I’m in it.
I’ve always loved trees. When I was a kid, I climbed them. I sat on fallen logs, read in their shade, had picnics in the woods, ate their fruit. As an adult I let them grow in my back yard and only cut them down when their dead limbs fell indiscriminately on anyone walking out
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Problem Solved
Wendy’s closes early because of lack of help for the late shift. Service is slow at Bob Evans because not enough workers. Dollar General suffers multiple thefts. One person is working the whole store. “Now Hiring”, “Help Wanted” signs all over town. Businesses advertise they will hire convicted felons. Some innocent person from another planet
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Deep Breath. Think.
Taking note that Biden received favorable publicity by joining striking union members at a UAW plant in Detroit Michigan, the Donald decided to hold a campaign rally (at the same time as the Republican presidential debate) in Michigan. According to public records obtained by the inimitable staff of Rachel Maddow, the Trump people paid $20,000
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Results
I’m back. Lost in the complexities of website editing but as usual blundered my way through. Warm? Cold? It says something when I’m grateful that the temperature is above freezing. And furthermore, how can anyone vote for that creep? We all know who I mean. Do you really want that petulant child/man in the Oval
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AKA The Octopus Book
Just finished reading REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES by Shelby Van Pelt and it was so good my first thought was “It would make a great movie.” But wait! The main character is a giant Pacific octopus. Where would we find an octopus willing to take on the part? What octopus would want to slave under the
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RESOLUTIONS FOR 2024
I hereby resolve; To never lie to my children again that “Santa will bring the tree” and then send them off to bed early Christmas Eve, drag in the tree from behind the neighbor’s garage, wrestle it into the stand, painstakingly clip on every light, throw on the tinsel and ornaments, fill the stockings and
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2023 Blog Posts
December 29, 2023 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Family. Love ‘em, cherish, appreciate, be so grateful especially around the holidays when you’re able to be with them. Amen. December 22, 2023 Future People. Don’t Look! Some time ago I read a prediction that through evolution of the species, over generations of development humans would
Tally Harwood 